We’ve Not Yet Arrived. The Big 4.0.

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Friendship.

Now there’s a complicated thing, especially among women. We compete and compare, even when we don’t mean to. Time and again I have opened my heart to women in search of friendship and community. Time and again I have been disappointed and hurt. But, as it turns out, that isn’t always the case. She taught me that..

She that finds healthy ways to deal with her stress and anxiety.

She that nurtures and plays, embracing every glorious and disastrous part of parenthood.

She that is fiercely loyal to her family.

She that sends a “vox” just to say ‘Hi!’ and tells me she hopes I’m having a good day.

She that genuinely cares more about understanding than being understood.

She that asks how you are because she sincerely wants to know, not because it’s the etiquettely polite thing to do.

She that turns 4-0 today.

I do not have the means to lavish you with gifts. Instead, I am sharing one of my gifts to honor you. And I know you will be okay with that. Because that’s just the way you roll.

Here’s what I have learned in the past year or so that we have been friends…

1. Even interesting, intelligent people like KUWTK. I am still processing this one.

2. I say “I’m sorry” way too often. Sorry for that.

3. There is a threshold of intimacy that is crossed when you clean up poop from someone else’s floor.

4. Healthy and delicious are not mutually exclusive concepts.

5. There is such a thing as a photo obsession fueled by Snap Fish. The struggle is real.

6. Even the most seemingly put-together women are fallible. We all have a ‘thing’ we need to work on and that’s okay.

7. We never arrive. No matter how far you’ve come, there are always lessons to be learned and improvements to be made.

8. Personal accountability is not a thing of the past. It’s very much alive.

So, you see, even though your awesome mothering skills are inspiring, it’s the way that you do you that really teaches me. You have given me permission that I would not give myself. You have allowed me to feel – to sit in whatever I’m going through, just long enough to realize I’m ready to get over it.

Thank you for that. When the days come that I want to shut the world off and hide, you remind me that in my hiding I am missing out on the relief of being found. Being seen. Being loved.

Happy Birthday, sweet friend. I pray to be around to see many more of them!